Friendship
by crazy-wee-cat
Summary: Rachel is missing a certain friend, and her newer friends help to make things better. Slightly AU, Rachel, Kurt and Blaine friendship, one-shot. Please read and review!


She missed him.

There really weren't any other words to describe her feelings.

He had been her best friend. They had grown up together. When her parents were away, she would stay at his, and vice versa. They always went to summer camps together. They used to tell each other _everything. _

Sure, there had been stages when he had annoyed her, and probably the same for him. There was that stage when they were about eleven and he just drove her crazy. But that was all it was...a stage. Their parents used to joke about them getting married when they were older. And there had been times when Rachel had liked the idea of that – but that, too, she had grown out of. They were best friends, siblings, and nothing could get between them.

She sighed slightly as she scrolled down his facebook page. He had formed a band with some of his new friends a few months ago. Figures. He was always quite a good singer, though he wouldn't admit it, and rarely sang when anyone else was around. She had heard him sing once or twice though. He never believed her when she told him how good he was. She wondered where he had gained the confidence from. She wondered why she could never give him that confidence. And she wondered who he had believed when they told him he was good. And why they believed them when he didn't believe her.

They had started to grow apart after they both started high school. They still made the effort though. They met up regularly for smoothies (as neither liked coffee at that time) and talked about anything and everything. But then he became a jock and she became a nobody and sometimes it felt like she was trying so much harder to be his friend than he was trying to be hers.

And then they both joined Glee, and she thought everything would get better. And sure, they saw each other more in school. But he was still a jock, the popular one, the one who got all the girls. He was a good dancer, and he always sang in the background, whereas she was the star, the one with the loud voice and the overambitious dreams who everyone seemed to find slightly annoying.

She always told herself she was over-analysing it, but the truth was she was always the first to text, the first to start a conversation. He was always lovely whenever she did talk and it felt like old times, but he never tried to start it. And that sort of hurt. They were growing apart, though she tried to ignore it, because it was _Matt, _her best friend since they were both tiny.

And there were the times when he proved her completely wrong. When her cousin died and she came into school anyway, he immediately could tell something was wrong, even though she was keeping it a secret. She told him it was nothing, but he phoned her that night and comforted her and it was at times like that when she knew that he was the best friend that she always wanted.

Rachel went back to the homepage on facebook, knowing that it was doing her no good facebook stalking him. She noticed she had a notification, and clicking on it, discovered that she had been invited to a gig that he and his band were doing. She quickly hit attending, typing in "_I'll be there!" _before she noticed something...she'd been invited to this by another band member. Not him, not Matt. He didn't even care enough to invite her himself.

And she _knew_ that Darrell, the one that had invited her, did most of the facebook stuff and was most likely inviting everyone, but she couldn't help but wonder if that was actually the case. What if Matt had been inviting all of his close friends and leaving Darrell to do the rest? What if he didn't even view her as a close friend anymore?

See, what a lot of the Glee club didn't realise, is that when he moved away it hurt her. People seemed to just forget how close the two were, because they were all friends with everyone. They were a family, but this family seemed to forget the bonds they all had with each other. And when Matt left, everyone was sad, and nobody remembered to check how Rachel was feeling.

He didn't even tell her personally. She found out from Mercedes.

And now, she always started the texts...and they were never proper conversations, they only ever lasted for a couple of texts. They never phoned each other, and she always felt like she shouldn't if she posted on his facebook. She felt like she was bothering him. That he'd moved on from their friendship while she was just still waiting, wishing that she could find it again.

She missed him.

_Gleegleegleeglee_

The next day, Rachel was feeling sadder than usual about it. Normally she just forgot about it, only remembering their friendship at times when she was already feeling particularly upset, but she had texted him a couple of days ago, and he hadn't replied. She knew he had a lot of friends, and normally he seemed to take a while to text back but...she thought that maybe he was ignoring her.

Rachel stepped into Glee, her mood sombre. She sat away from everyone else, not really in the mood to talk to anyone. She noticed Kurt, Blaine and Mercedes sending concerned glances her way, but they seemed to get the message. Mr Schue bounced in quickly and pretty much skipped to the board, grabbing the pen and scribbling something on it.

"_Friendship!"_ he said, after writing the word up. I could have cried, right there, right then. "Guys, I know that there's a lot of tension in this group at a lot of times, but I want you to remember that you're all friends, okay! I know some of you find it hard to get on, but I want you all to remember what you like about each other. So your assignment for the week is to sing a song about your friends!"

_Gleegleegleeglee_

The next few days went by relatively quickly. Rachel was busy organising a song to sing, and teachers had suddenly attacked them all with homework, so luckily she didn't have too much time to think. Checking her phone periodically to see if he had texted her became quite a regular thing. And no, it wasn't obsessive. She just missed him. But before she knew it, she was back in the choir room and it was her turn to sing.

She felt like she needed to say something before she started to sing. "Em, well, this song isn't...perfect in describing how I feel about my friends...but it's the closest I could get to how I'm feeling right now." Kurt was smiling at her from the back, and Blaine already had his phone out. I almost laughed. He liked filming people's performances far too much.

The music started, and suddenly I was singing.

_Step one you say we need to talk  
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk  
He smiles politely back at you  
You stare politely right on through  
Some sort of window to your right  
As he goes left and you stay right  
Between the lines of fear and blame  
You begin to wonder why you came_

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best  
Cause after all you do know best  
Try to slip past his defence  
Without granting innocence  
Lay down a list of what is wrong  
The things you've told him all along  
And pray to God he hears you  
And pray to God he hears you

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice  
You lower yours and grant him one last choice  
Drive until you lose the road  
Or break with the ones you've followed  
He will do one of two things  
He will admit to everything  
Or he'll say he's just not the same  
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life  
How to save a life  
How to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life

_Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life  
How to save a life_

Everybody was cheering, and she could tell that she had blown them away again. Mr Schue was clapping and he stood up. "That was great Rachel!" he said, "But I need to ask – how was that related to friendship?"

"I..." she trailed off, her cheeks reddening. Everyone was looking at her expectantly, waiting for her explanation. "It was just about...more about...losing a friend," her voice cracked in embarrassment, and the weight of the classes stares was like a nightmare to her. Everybody looked confused, awkward even. "I'm sorry, I need to go." And she ran.

The room was silent, and then something seemed to click in Kurt's head. He sighed, his face sad. "Guys. I think we forgot something important."

Before anyone could reply, he got up and left to go check on Rachel, Blaine following in his wake. Out of the entire club, those two were her best friends. They knew how she was feeling the best.

Rachel ran straight to the auditorium – where else would she go? She sat at the side of the stage, her knees pulled up to her chest, her chin leaning on them. She didn't cry. For some reason, this was something she couldn't cry about. It was weird – she cried during pretty much every performance, but when it came to one of the people she cared about most in the world, she couldn't cry. Kurt and Blaine appeared in the room, spied her quickly and came over to sit with her.

"Rachel," said Kurt quietly, "I'm so sorry."

"Why?" she asked, faking that she hadn't just run out of the choir room like a bear was chasing her.

"Because with everything that went on over the last year, what with Karofsky and stuff...I completely forgot that you were hurting to."

"It wasn't for you to remember," she murmured. "I'm just over reacting,"

"Rach, look at me," she turned her big, brown eyes to Blaine, who felt his heart melt at the innocence and sadness within them. "He was your best friend. You're allowed to be upset."

"Rachie, I need to ask," said Kurt softly, "What brought this on? He's been gone for a while now."

She shrugged. "It's just been building up for a while I guess. He never seems to make the effort anymore. And I know that it's really rare to keep the friends from your childhood for the rest of your life...but...I just thought that he would at least make the effort, you know? I honestly thought that I meant more to him than that..."

"What do you mean?" asked Blaine.

"Well...he never tries to talk to me anymore. And, well, he's been ignoring my texts recently. He never used to text back quickly, but he always did eventually..."

"I just..." And finally, she could feel her lip beginning to tremble, she could feel her eyes starting to tear up as she realised the simple truth. "I just really miss him, you know?"

Blaine nodded and pulled her into a hug, which Kurt decided to join in, chuckling. Rachel laughed slightly through her tears.

"You know, Rachey," said Kurt when they had all pulled away from each other, giggling, Rachel wiping her eyes with a new smile on her face. "You may have lost one friend. But you gained so many more."

She looked up at her new best friend, and her smile widened as she realised that even though she may have lost her friendship with Matt, Kurt was right. Ever since Matt had left she had made so many new friends in the Glee club – in Kurt, in Blaine, in Mercedes, Noah and Finn. She hugged him tightly, "You're right."

That night, when Rachel went on facebook, she didn't check the event as she would have normally to feel sorry for herself and mull over the loss of a friendship. Instead she went onto Kurt's page and posted a video of Barbara Streisand that she thought he would like and had a conversation with Mercedes on chat. And then a notification lit up on her page, and if possible, her day suddenly got even better.

_Matt Rutherford has invited you to an event._

Things were looking up.

_Thanks for reading! Please review._


End file.
